The following is a letter I wrote this morning for Poets and Supporters of the Teen Poets, but it occurs to me that I can extend it all of you as well...In typical blog-like-big-wondering-blabbing-Borgmann-fashion....It may truly be repetitive of emails I've sent this past couple weeks from the road, or a tighter summary of what's up in my world, especially since returning...)
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
July 22, 2006
Dear Poets and Friends,
I am just sitting down to do some writing, and wanting to send you all a note of Love and Well Wishes....
I have had the amazing opportunity to go West, road-tripping through North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, and Utah, all in an effort to see, hear, talk, write, pray, reflect, create.
Amazing. Met some amazing people, and had such a time to RETREAT.
...................................................................
Here is a just a sprinkling of the Real Life characters I met -- (believe me, there were lovely, crazed FIctional ones that came forward, too!):
Howard the retired real-estate developer from Mobile, Alabama, (hanging out drinking scotch and doing a cross-word puzzle in Red Lodge, telling me about his life goals and fears, including that he wants to write fiction and he is scared of black people.)
Anna the precocious, (at times beyond-her-years- wise-and-cynical,) 16 year old from Norwich, Vermont, who just finished 6 months on a Mountain, at "Mountain school," wears lime-green converse every day, and loves writing and horses.
Charlie Phyllis, the African American woman with two names from New York City who speaks French, went to Yale, is passionate about Jesus and Women's Health Issues, and is working on her second novel for Random House.
Nessie the Mormon ranch owner who says a blessing before every meal - or invites others to - and runs this ranch in the summer with her 7 kids, overseeing the branding, herding, roundup of the cows, as well as the meal-making, room assignments, and riding of horses.
Rod-The-Cowboy - who used to test nuclear weapons, and now rides, trains, sells horses, and does rodeo/radio work.
(And so many more...)
........................................................................................
During this time away, a number of things sort of "popped" for me:
-That I need to write, create, and perform, as a way to honor God.
-That community is essential for that to happen.
-That shifts in location and landscape are conducive for work coming forward and relationships to be built.
-That I love young people, ALL people in a way that is worthy of examining.
-That it's really good to step back and ask questions of purpose, place, power, position.
So. Where's that bring me? That's anywhere PRACTICAL, interesting, or newsworthy for YOU?
I am not certain. Except that while in Utah, I learned that a former student of mine, Marcus White, was murdered in North Minneapolis, and it took me smack dab into the middle of my life and these freaking large questions. And it's making me wonder again, what I'm up to, in this work, and what would be the best use of my time, energy, talent, love, energy, ie, God-given gifts?
I know right off the top that I need to tell each and every one of you that "I love you." That you are precious to me. That you are precious to the world, and that you all have gifts that the world wants to see, hear, experience.
Indeed!
Yes!
Don't question that for one second!!!
I am pretty certain that each of you has dealt with crisis, or death, loss in a way that has called you into this deeper space of examination and reflection. And that to navigate that space, having community, love, faith has been key for making sense of it all, and through it..
...................................................................................
After Marcus' funeral yesterday, I came home and sat before my computer to write. I wanted to compose a piece about him. About violence. About this country's use of tax dollars in Iraq (to the tune of $10 billion a MONTH), vs. the CUT funding for police officers nationally ($1 Billion a YEAR.) --Which says nothing of our spending on education, and things that PREVENT VIOLENCE, in my opinion.
Instead, I submitted a story proposal to "This American Life" (an NPR documentary radio program produced by WBEZ in Chicago.)
And I read emails.
About 14 emails came in yesterday, from family and friends who are offering love, support, feedback, questions to me about my life, and the collective work we are up to...
-My cousin Jill wants to pay for me to apply to grad schools all over the country. (MFA in creative writing - non-fiction focus.) She made a list of all that she thinks I should write about from my life.
-Pat Van Ert and Coey Deharpportte offered to drive and do the cooking when we go to the cabin tomorrow to write and sort out The Juno Collective.
-Vuyi Nkomo, my cardiologist friend from South Africa via Mayo, wrote to offer love and prayers about these questions, in the form of funny metaphors.
-Matt Peiken, my Pioneer Press friend made plans for dinner and time for conversation on creative life and work reflecting.
-Zac Willette, former housemate back from South America, came over and we talked and broke open our last six months of life, with an eye toward love and calling questions.
-Julia Dinsmore, (grandma D), asked for support in the form a book blurb/ reading response, for her autobiographical prose and poetry- soon-to-be published, that was an amazing honor, and reminding me what I want to do.
-Barb Everhart, teacher friend and lover of the poets, wrote to offer condolences, and questions about next steps...
I'm certain I'm forgetting something.
But here I am. On the verge of heading out again: to the cabin to talk Juno, (and ultimately TRTM), and booking my flight back from Atlanta, Georgia, after I help Io move down there in 10 days.
..................................................................................
It seems so much to me, potentially overwhelming. And perhaps that's why I am writing...? I am not truly sure. Just that I need to share with each of you from this place I'm physically, philosophically, spiritually, professionally, artistically IN right now. -- I believe this is simply a way to apprise you of - and intentionally communicate the questions that I'm wrestling with and discerning at this moment. Because I love you. Because I'm a teacher. Because I want you to know that at 37, we are all still sorting things out. Because I'm a writer, and person of deep faith, and this is how I pray. Because I want to invite you all into this space in the way that you are able to be in it. Because I want to simply update you on where I am at as a mentor, friend, teacher, writer, director, producer, human being,
So that's it. I guess stay tuned. Drop a line. Send a note. Keep writing. I'll do the same.
Love, Peace, Blessings,
Arms around you, kisses on your cheek,
Melissa B
No comments:
Post a Comment