From: "Amy Baione"
Date: May 31, 2007 1:04:29 PM CDT
To: "Melissa Borgmann"
Subject: Re: Post-Mo Contemplation: Encountering Poetry Alone vs. in Partnership
Melissa Borgmann writes:
And this makes me sort of wonder, "What happens when I get married? Will this part of myself that I so love - and so loves God - and that I believe makes my life sort of mean something and worthwhile, will she disappear when I become a wife and full-time partner?"
And your writing, thinking, questioning this makes me sort of wonder, "Why have I felt so alone in feeling sadness over the loss or atrophy of the me-ness I remember from my single days?" It was the me that loved the questions and had the opportunity--actually maybe it's just more time-- to work through their mystery in a sweet, silent dialogue between one me and another me--maybe the earthly me and the transcendent me, I'm not sure.
But before I start passing by reality on the grief train I so love to ride sometimes, I meditate, Melissa, on the reality that the best moments in my life so far as a nearly 33-year-old woman have come within the last 3 years, the years of my marriage, my awesome, scary, strong, rickety, unique and universal marriage to a friend-lover-stranger-father-son-brother-flawed-perfect man. These moments can be few and far between, but when they happen they are truly divine. They happen when (after having carved out some retreat within the constant-exchange-that-is-marriage for tuning into me and the evolution of my thoughts) I savor him and look on him with kind eyes and we talk as though we really love and cherish one another--I mean soul exchange...which in the best, best moments leads to no talking at all. ; )
I mean every last bit of what I just said, and you're going to be okay no matter what.