NYC 2009: Celebrating Francois' 40th!

A year ago right now I had the awesome privilege of going to NYC with my mom and little sister to celebrate two significant birthdays: my 40th, Molly's 21st. This year, I have the awesome privilege of accompanying one dear love in my life, Francois Kiemde, for his 40th birthday. It's a joy. It's a wonder. It's a gift to make the journey this season alongside my fiance, and to simultaneously experience the city through his eyes, and alongside his best friends. What follows are photos from our three night, four day adventure. Big love and gratitude go out to Mr. Kiemde and his beautiful network that embraced me, and helped us celebrate love and birth on so many levels.

Enjoy!
Melissa

Yes!

Hey Baby!

Sleepy but excited at the Baggage Claim.
(Can you tell we rose at 5am for this flight?)

The Algonquin!

The Historic Hotel in Mid-town Manhattan, known for Dorothy Parker and her crew of literary, artistic, political peeps...AND THE ROUND TABLE!

NYC Hallway complete with clever cartoon wallpaper from the New Yorker.

Sweet!

What would a trip be to New York without a stop at a Street Vendor?

En route to Times Square: Health Care Protesters!

Please...

Message with Humor!

Self-portrait in the subway...On our way to Freddie and Carmela's in Queens...

Where we are warmly received.
(From Left to Right: Francois, Eduard, Fred, Carmela all raising a glass.
There's so much to toast this weekend!)

More ensemble shots, including baby boy Cedric.

This meal will be my favorite all weekend. Love to Carmela's multicultural cooking skills, this menu honoring her Italian heritage.

And then there's my guy, who just loves his chicken!
lol.

Times Square, baby!

Time to get Tickets from TKTS

Happy Man back in his NYC home

Who knew this would be the first Broadway Musical Francois would ever see?
An LA love story set to 1980's Rock and Love ballads? The Humor of it all!

Walking down Broadway through the Street Fair

Psychic Reading on Francois' 40th Year:
Yes, I'm your soul mate, and you will be wildly successful in your next bakery business!
LOVE!!!

Jazz in Central Park

St. Raphael spotting..

Checking out the French Bread...

Delish!

Onto a BBQ back in Queens with Little Cedric and family...

Fred's on prep...

Beautiful father and son.

And two beautiful parents!

Lots of photos taken today..

Carmela and Frederique

Another gorgeous father and son;
Ed and his guy are goofs!

It's a theme. Happy Dads with their boys....

Celebratory Birthday Cake and Champagne!

I love this guy!

A toast to Carmela's birthday!
Leos and Virgos in the house!

What a crew! Stay tuned to more from these men in my life!

The city at night...

Love.

Building Bridges: Hosting Dorothy Amenuke at St. Jane House and Redeemer Center for Life

One of my deepest pleasures in life is connecting people. Recognizing the range of beautiful humans I have the privilege of knowing and being in relationship with, I hold dear the opportunity to introduce friends from different parts of my world to one another. This past month, a series of these opportunities presented themselves, when my Ghanaian artist friend Dorothy Amenuke came to town, and we had a slumber party of sorts at St. Jane House in North Minneapolis. While I no longer own my own home for hosting such international friends, I do have access to a delightful spot that is increasingly growing in popularity for such cultural exchange opportunities. St. Jane House, so named after Jane de Chantal, co-foundress of the Visitation Monastery, is the lovely retreat and dialogue space run by the Vis Sisters of North Minneapolis and their lay companion, Brian Mogren. The following are images made possible through the St. Jane House affiliation and the 36 hour whirlwind of connection and conversation that ensued.

Big Thanks go out to:
Brian Mogren
The Visitation Sisters of North Minneapolis
The Centering Prayer Group
Janet Hagberg, Redeemer Center for Life, (member of the Centering Prayer Group, who had this idea to connect Dorothy with other women who work with fabric).
Harriet Oyera, The Living Room, Redeemer Center for Life (Member of the Centering Prayer Group.)
The Colonial and Redeemer Lutheran Quilting Groups (who convened and shared work with Dorothy)
Pastor Kelly, Redeemer Lutheran Church
Trish Kloeckl, Friend of the Visitation Sisters (who stopped to meet Dorothy and help select a piece of her batik for the wall at St. Jane House.)
Ann Dillard, Project Safety Nets, Senegal, West Africa, (who stopped by St. Jane House to connect with another woman in leadership around such life, sustainability, creative arts education issues.)
Barbara Cox, Multicultural Voices Initiative, Perpich Center for Arts Education (who introduced me to Dorothy)
Pat Black, Fiber Artist, St. Paul Host for Dorothy
Dorothy Amenuke, Fiber Artist, Sculptor, Kumasi, Ghana

Dorothy Amenuke warmly greeted by Harriet Oyera at the
Redeemer Church BBQ in North Minneapolis

Redeemer and Colonial Quilters Connecting with Batik Artist, Dorothy Amenuke

Janet Hagberg, Redeemer Lutheran, in line for the community meal with Dorothy

Introducing Pastor Kelly to Dorothy

A warm welcome from Harriet Oyera to the Living Room at the Redeemer Center for Life

Quilters admiring Dorothy's work

So many fabrics

Harriet shares her quilting work with Dorothy

Trish Kloeckl and Dorothy Amenuke chilling at St. Jane House

Ann Dillard, from North Minneapolis, presents her work in Senegal, West Africa

The juxtaposition of Ann and Dorothy underneath the Visitation
Painting of Elizabeth and Mary makes me smile.

Ted Kennedy on Universal Health Care

The following arrived in my email this morning. As a way to honor Senator Kennedy, and inspire any and all who wonder longer about passing a bill for Universal Health coverage, I offer his words and own story in the following post. Ted Kennedy is a privileged, fully-covered member of Congress. I wonder how this vote might take a turn if our senators knew first hand, in their own bodies and through their own bank books, what health care costs? (Hats off to Senator Brown from Ohio who declines this coverage until everyone in his home state gets it.)

This is the cause of my life. It is a key reason that I defied my illness last summer to speak at the Democratic convention in Denver—to support Barack Obama, but also to make sure, as I said, "that we will break the old gridlock and guarantee that every American...will have decent, quality health care as a fundamental right and not just a privilege." For four decades I have carried this cause—from the floor of the United States Senate to every part of this country. It has never been merely a question of policy; it goes to the heart of my belief in a just society. Now the issue has more meaning for me—and more urgency—than ever before. But it's always been deeply personal, because the importance of health care has been a recurrent lesson throughout most of my 77 years.

— Ted Kennedy

Love to Sun Prairie, Saxonwold, Shiraz! Readers around the World...

Wisconsin, South Africa, Iran. These are some of the places that people came from to view my blog this past week. I marvel how anyone outside my immediate circle stumbles upon my site, and what inspires those who choose to come back.

Love in Wisconsin?
Friendship in South Africa?
Political intrigue in Iran?

Google analytics provides these sorts of reports that could inspire the joy in any blogger's heart, deeper curiosity in the average voyeur, and wonder in the likes of me, who so craves two-way conversation.

If you find yourself coming back, please drop a note! Leave a comment. Email your thoughts. Do I know you? Do you know me? What brings you back time and again?

Thanks! Blessings!
Happy day to each and everyone who arrives here.
Love,
Melissa

From Richard Rohr: Contemplation in the face of Messy Politics and Discourse

I went searching tonight for something that might calm me. Something that, in the midst of the political, spiritual, incendiary debates about health care, might really bring me peace. These words from Richard Rohr, posted before the recent peak of the hubabaloo in Sojourner's blog "God's Politics," were helpful. I share with you, and all who seek to transform -- see Justice and Love and Wellness be the rule for ALL of us. Yes. Enjoy Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM's thoughts!

Peace,
Melissa

****

What Sustains Me: Contemplation

by Richard Rohr 06-15-2009

Editor’s note: In the July issue of Sojourners magazine, we asked social activists to share how they stay refreshed while working for social justice. From John Perkins to Bishop Vashti McKenzie, the responses flooded in with deep insight into the spiritual disciplines of those who work to bring justice and peace to others. To read all of the responses, see the July feature article, “What Sustains Me.” Below is the response from Father Richard Rohr.

As the name of our center probably makes clear (The Center for Action and Contemplation), my daily and primary practice is contemplation. I try in every way, and every day, to see the events, people, and issues in my world through a much wider lens that I hope is “Christ Consciousness.” I have to practice letting go of my own agenda, my own anger, fear, and judgments in very concrete ways and through daily practice. In that empty space, it seems God is able to speak and sometimes I am able to hear. In that space, I find joy.

I have worked for most of my life and with the help of my Franciscan tradition and other spiritual teachers to spend a good chunk of every day in silence, solitude, and surrender to what God and the moment are offering. I fail at it far more than I succeed, but grace grants me just enough “wide-lens experience” to know that it is my home base, my deepest seeing, and by far the best gift I can also offer to the world.

Without a daily contemplative stance, I would have given up on the church, America, many people, and surely myself a long time ago. Without a daily contemplative practice, I would likely be a cynical and even negative person by now, but by Somebody’s Kindness, I am not. With contemplative eyes, I can live with a certain non-dual consciousness that often allows me to be merciful to the moment, patient with human failure, and generous toward the maddening issues of our time. For me, it is the very shape of Christian salvation or any salvation. My sadness is that so few have been taught this older and wiser tradition, although many still come to it by great love and great suffering.

Father Richard Rohr is the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province. Click here to read more about the spiritual disciplines of social activists.

Data on Health Care Costs and Home Foreclosures

Friends,
Here's an article by Christopher Robertson, at Harvard Law School, on the Medical Causes of Home Mortgage Foreclosures that I found on the Social Science Research Network.

For me, this speaks to our need to focus on health care coverage for all as a way to impact the economy in a positive way. I've underlined and boldfaced the abstract below where information stands out to me. I encourage people to read the entire thing.

Thoughts? Questions?
Love,
M

***

Get Sick, Get Out: The Medical Causes of Home Mortgage Foreclosures Christopher T. Robertson Harvard University - Harvard Law School

Richard Egelhof affiliation not provided to SSRN

Michael Hoke affiliation not provided to SSRN

Health Matrix: Journal of Law-Medicine, Vol. 18, No. 65, 2008

Abstract: In recent years, there has been national alarm about the rising rate of home foreclosures, which now strike one in every 92 households in America and which contribute to even broader macroeconomic effects. The "standard account" of home foreclosure attributes this spike to loose lending practices, irresponsible borrowers, a flat real estate market, and rising interest rates. Based on our study of homeowners going through foreclosures in four states, we find that the standard account fails to represent the facts and thus makes a poor guide for policy. In contrast, we find that half of all foreclosures have medical causes, and we estimate that medical crises put 1.5 million Americans in jeopardy of losing their homes last year.

Half of all respondents (49%) indicated that their foreclosure was caused in part by a medical problem, including illness or injuries (32%), unmanageable medical bills (23%), lost work due to a medical problem (27%), or caring for sick family members (14%). We also examined objective indicia of medical disruptions in the previous two years, including those respondents paying more than $2,000 of medical bills out of pocket (37%), those losing two or more weeks of work because of injury or illness (30%), those currently disabled and unable to work (8%), and those who used their home equity to pay medical bills (13%). Altogether, seven in ten respondents (69%) reported at least one of these factors.

If these findings can be replicated in more comprehensive studies, they will suggest critical policy reforms. We lay out one approach, focusing on an insurance-model, which would help homeowners bridge temporary gaps caused by medical crises. We also present a legal proposal for staying foreclosure proceedings during verifiable medical crises, as a way to protect homeowners and to minimize the negative externalities of foreclosure.


Robertson, Christopher T., Egelhof, Richard and Hoke, Michael,Get Sick, Get Out: The Medical Causes of Home Mortgage Foreclosures(August 18, 2008). Health Matrix: Journal of Law-Medicine, Vol. 18, No. 65, 2008. Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=1416947

From Dr. Soetoro: President Obama's Mother

I just ran across this Op Ed Piece in the New York Times, and it took me utterly by surprise. After reading Obama's first book, "Dreams from My Father" I thought I had a pretty solid account of his upbringing: what shaped him, inspired this US president and gave rise to his way of governance, inspiring rhetoric and actions. But Dr. Michael Dove's piece about President Obama's mother, Ann Dunham Soetoro, gives me pause. His writing makes me consider anew the roots of Barack Obama, and how his leadership might have been impacted subtly or quite directly by this woman.

Here's an excerpt from today's Op/Ed piece followed by a link to the full article. I encourage everyone to check it out. I welcome responses.

Running through Dr. Soetoro's doctoral research, as through all her work, was a challenge to popular perceptions regarding economically and politically marginalized groups; she showed that the people at society's edges were not as different from the rest of us as is often supposed. Dr. Soetoro was also critical of the pernicious notion that the roots of poverty lie with the poor themselves and that cultural differences are responsible for the gap between less-developed countries and the industrialized West.

Op-Ed Contributor

Dreams From His Mother

By MICHAEL R. DOVE

Published: August 10, 2009

Love,

Melissa

On Falling in Love with Francois

On Wednesday morning this past week, I got a text message from my mom, in Omaha, Nebraska, informing me that she had just put my grandmother and great-grandmother's diamond engagement ring in the mail. She sent it certified and insured mail to my boyfriend, Francois Xavier Kiemde, in Madison, Wisconsin, with her blessing, and the larger understanding that he would be presenting it to me - in due time.

I was driving down East River Road on the way to the University when I got the message. And I started crying. All the oxygen went out of my lungs, my eyes filled with tears, and I had to pull my car over. I am not sure completely how to describe such a moment, or locate myself in that emotional, mental, spiritual space, but I think it goes something like this:

I am in love. Wildly in love.
Someone adores me.
A gentleman bread baker and pastry chef named Francois from Burkina Faso wants to commit his life to me and be my husband.
There's a ring that has three generations of diamonds in it in the mail, representing men and women from my mom's family. It's a ring from my ancestors that I will wear someday.

It's like a century of love and faith and commitment and hard work and battles and joy and tears and terror and the unknown have been packaged up in a box and put on a train/ plane/ truck to this guy who loves me. And all that love/ faith/ commitment/ hard work/ battle/ joy/ tears/ terror/ unknown energy will be opened and at some unknown date in the future, be placed on my finger, with a promise to engage and immerse ourselves completely in the journey represented by that ring. Francois and I will get married. And I'm ecstatic.

I text messaged my mom back from the side of the road, trying to convey my gratitude to her, my awe for this moment, my love for this man. But how does someone do this in a text message? Shoot! How does anyone relay any kind of thoughtful reflection about their heart and mind and spirit to anyone? Is it possible? God knows I try, but goodness, do words ever convey what we feel and live and breath as a kind of truth in our limbs and bodies and lungs?

I think this is when I began trying to mentally draft a contemplative blog about the day, and this experience, and what it has meant falling in love with Francois.

Who is Francois Kiemde?
Why do I love him?
How do I know I want to get my grandmother's ring from him? (What preceded my mom putting this heirloom/relic in a box and mailing it to him?)
How does he know he wants to marry me? (How does anyone know they want to take this next step?)
How did mom's parents know they loved each other? How did Bette and Francis Liewer know? (Or my dad's mom and dad: John and Julia Adeline?) Or my great- grandparents-- whose diamonds are set in this ring: Matthew and Clara? Or Edna Bell and Matthias?

Whew. I could get dizzy thinking about it all. But it's not that hard.

Mr. Kiemde rocks. He rocks my soul, my heart, my world. Trying to write about this to my friend Nomi, I found myself drawing on her language: He's a man. The kind of man that presents himself to a woman, and makes her feel strong and beautiful and simultaneously, okay to be gentle and open; vulnerable, but courageous. With him, I feel like there's no challenge or obstacle we cannot handle, or any dream and goal we cannot realize: together.

***

I wrote of meeting Francois a few months ago, after he'd asked me formally to be his girlfriend. Since then, this fellow has continued to court me in the most honorable, intentional fashion that both inspires reflection on old-fashioned notions of "wooing"-- to prayerful contemplations on transformative models of marriage discernment.

Francois Xavier Kiemde is all man drawing forth and uplifting all facets of who I am as a woman.

He is a gentleman presenting himself as husband, as father, as lover, as provider, as nurturer, as supporter, as faithful and faith-filled fellow who desires me as a partner for all our days to come.

Here are some "Kiemde-isms" that underscore this journey for me in love:

Tell me about your last love. Would you be willing to go to counseling with me, so that we could create a solid way of communicating and caring for our relationship and sustaining a commitment?

I see us living here and in Africa.

Please, have your friends and family pray for us.

Can you find this scripture for me: "Trust the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding"? I think it's Proverbs.

Unless a husband is present for his wife emotionally, and really listening to her, you can kiss the marriage goodbye.

My prayer is for you to follow your dreams: doing what you feel God calling you to do. Social justice, writing, creating, teaching, no matter what, I want you to be happy and stay true to yourself.

I see us working together, doing community service....(pause) and it's not court -ordered!

I may not be the Obama you are looking for, but I could definitely be like Desmond Tutu!

Honey, it's garage sale season. Can we stop and check one out?

Funny. Joyous. Serious. Intentional. Smart. Prayerful. Political. Quiet. Attentive.

I love him.

***

Stay tuned.

Peace,
Melissa

Hear the Rain......

The following link was forwarded to me by my friend Anne this morning. Have you seen it? It's the Perpetuum Jazille Choir performing Toto's "Africa" - arranged by Tomaž Kozlevčar.

A few weeks back the same You Tube Video arrived in my inbox from Kat Reed, the woman who bought 1188 Juno. When I received the link and clicked to watch it then, I was awed, but it didn't have quite the same effect that this morning's viewing had on me.

Today: I cry. I sob. I laugh. I weep again. I am beyond awe; I am wowed, stirred, silenced. I love it.

Have you seen it?

Haha. Oh. I have to forward this along today, post it here, as a kind of prayer, as an act of reverence. Perhaps it's because I loved the original Toto version of the song? Perhaps it's because the act of making rain and thunder with human hands and limbs gives me pause: "We can do this? We can create rain? Is it possible?" (What else is possible?) I close my eyes and I listen. I open my eyes and smile. Maybe it's the lyrics that make me cry? The notion of blessing waters that fall over a continent, a land that I love and that inspires me to sing with the choir:

Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in africa, I bless the rains down in africa.

They sing of salvation. Of love. Perhaps for a person. Or for a land, a people, promise, a hope, some miracle. I wonder what the rains represent in life, in the song writer's heart? What does rain represent to me? To you?

I listen. I think of Francois. I think of falling in love at 40 and feeling 16 all over again. I marvel at what's happening in my heart. At the way the rain making music feels something akin to the love-making wonder of one human showing up in my life and committing himself to me.

I marvel: Is it possible? If the choir can do this, and a man can express himself so beautifully to me, what else is possible? What will we sing? What will we create? How will it rain in other ways?

I share this with you. I ask you what lives in your heart and mind and spirit and how you receive this video today. Yes.

Enjoy! Happy Contemplating!

Love,
Melissa

Today's Writer's Almanac Poem: "Flannery's Angel"

Flannery's Angel
by Charles Wright

Lead us to those we are waiting for,
Those who are waiting for us.
May your wings protect us,
may we not be strangers in the lush province of joy.

Remember us who are weak,
You who are strong in your country which lies beyond the thunder,
Raphael, angel of happy meeting,
resplendent, hawk of the light.

"Flannery's Angel" by Charles Wright, from Sestets: Poems. © Farrar, Strauss, Giroux, 2009. Reprinted with permission. (buy now)

***

What a great poem for today. I slurp homemade Italian Wedding soup, think of the bread baker that has come into my life - and read Charles Wright's words, marveling at the way it all feels connected.

Soup.

Bread.

Angels.

Amen.

I'm happy to know a real life Raphael, as well, in one Sr. Rafael Tilton!

Joy to the angels in your life that lead you, and the way your quiet prayers inform the journey.

Love! Happy Contemplating!

Youth Radio: Valencia McMurray on Homelessness

"Minneapolis - The Minneapolis Public Schools counted 5,500 homeless children in the district last year.

One of those students is Valencia McMurray, who graduated last Saturday from North High School in Minneapolis. She tells the story of her struggle to stay in school and graduate while living on her own."

These are the opening words to a story I heard broadcast on Minnesota Public Radio this morning.

This personal account of one young woman's journey as a homeless teen made me cry. Her strength and resilient nature made me smile. The whole narrative made me ask questions:

What does it mean to be 17 and homeless?

How would I navigate such circumstances? You?

How many of my former North HIgh students were in similar situations - that I really knew of? Could I name them? Count them? Who was I completely clueless about?

What are the odds of graduating from high school when you don't know where you will sleep at night?

What kind of wisdom does such a young person gain in this space?

What is my role or response as a listener? Do I have one?

How is Valencia McMurray my teacher?

What questions does this story make you ask?

This Youth Radio piece made me proud to know such powerful and resilient young people - and their teachers - who face such circumstances. I applaud MPR for their production and pairing efforts. I congratulate Valencia and her peers on their accomplishments to date! I look forward to hearing more from all involved....

I encourage all of you to tune in! Listen!

In peace, contemplation,

Melissa