"Umm, excuse me, people, but I was there when they laid him in the tomb. Dead man for sure. No breathing happening. And yeah, that rock rolled out of the way and his body was gone a couple days later, but what's that? More drama as far as I'm concerned. I love Jesus because He taught me a lot of good stuff.... Shoot, I feel like my love for my family and friends has changed for the better. And those random guys on the corner, the beggar and the leper and tax collector, I am even having love for them these days. Plus, I quit feeling so judgmental about prostitutes. But: this business of Jesus walking around AFTER HE DIED? Come on! Let's draw the sanity line someplace, PLEASE!"
"Jesus walking around?! How ludicrous! Those other disciples must have been smoking some serious crack to think that they saw Jesus after that bloody death of His!"